Your Inner Voice

It has been understood that we think      around 400 words a minute, called inner voice or internal chatter, and sometime in the process a word or two will slip and become audible. Does that resonate with you? I wonder, how many of those words are positive or negative self-talk.

Positive self-talk is without question a powerful method for increasing self-confidence and suppressing negativity, which only creates unwanted anxiety and stress.

In a recent episode, a former National Super Heavyweight Boxer spoke of his story of growing up doing poorly academically, socially, and so many times bullied by his schoolmates until he had reached a point of either giving up or fighting back.

He decided to join a gym, however, it was several miles away and it took him about three hours one way which afforded him the time to self-talk, and this was the beginning of turning around in making a personal difference.

Of course, I am not advocating the sport of boxing to be effective in our own lot in life, but we can use it as a metaphor to describe the fight we engage in our everyday challenges.

Self-talk is imperative because it has an enormous impact on our emotions and what we decide to do. It can provide motivation, it can be supportive, it can compel us, or it can be otherwise, it can sabotage our self-confidence.

How would you define negative self-talk?

Negative self-talk is that little inner voice no one can hear but yourself. Unfortunately, many experience inner voice as an unrelenting negative, like an inner critic that never shuts up, it never stops, and always pessimistic.

It diminishes our confidence and hinders us from reaching our potential successes. It feels like our failures are predictable.

It can sound like “I can't do this,” “I will never be able to do this, nothing works for me.” Just by writing these expressions down, it is like fingernails on the blackboard to me.

We must understand that negative self-talk can be repetitive and rarely mirrors reality. It can lead us to be overly contemplative, which can turn into a rut, and remember a rut is only a few feet from a grave.

So, how can self-talk affect our mental health in a favorable way?

The research behind positive self-talk may suggest that it contributes to developing mental skillsets that opens the way to solve challenges, notice I do not say problems, because challenges carry the idea that they can be overcome. Optimism is different from negativity, and healthy thinking is more apt to help you to cope with hardships thus reducing the horrible effects of stress and anxiety. And people who engage in the practice of positive thinking experience longevity, reduces the rate of depression, reduces levels of emotional pain, boots our immunity, lends itself to better psychological and physiological health, and greater contentment in life.

So, the question, how do we begin to practice positive self-talk?

Always use vocabulary that you would say when talking to a friend, a family member, uttering words that are up building, in other words, never say to yourself what you would not say to another person.

Encircle yourself with likeminded people. Studies have concluded that associating with negative people can seriously harm our mental and physical well-being, making us more of what we do not want to be. Therefore, circle the wagons with positive, genuine people you can trust to give you helpful advice and true commentary about yourself, resulting in personal growth.

I must say that it is no coincidence that the word attitude rhymes with gratitude, they are intricately linked, so, be grateful. In fact, my guest spoke of getting up every morning and immediately would write down ten things he was grateful for a week without repeating the same thing. And you can imagine after a week he really had to think of what he was grateful for.

A wonderful way to find positivity in our existence and encourage positive self-talk is to acknowledge the wonderful things in our lives for which we can be grateful.

Simply performing gestures of kindness by assisting others will promote feelings of self-affirmation, self-empowerment, and optimism about our lot in life.

Sincerely complimenting others on their appearance, simply buying someone a cup of coffee, holding the entrance door open for someone, or greeting someone with a smile are all fabulous ways you can help others, and your own perspective as well.

Like everything worthwhile, it can take time to be aware of our harmful thoughts, be patient with yourself, remember this internal monologue has been an integral part of you for the longest time and some attest to the fact it may take to three months to rewire our thinking.

Here are some additional tips to improve our optimistic outlook.

It is a matter of practicing good and healthy thinking about us. It is like seeing the proverbial half glass as being half full, instead of half empty.

Be aware and recognize your personal strengths as part of who you are, and freely accept commendations and compliments for your achievements. Do you know someone that you highly admire for their personality, their spirit and how they carry themselves? Why not try to adopt some of those good qualities for yourself if they fit your persona? A helpful way to ameliorate our positive inner voice is to live the part, dress the part, and believe you can rise to the occasion. In fact, the inspired holy writings encourage a new personality based on the quintessential example that is found there.

My guest told the story of when he moved to a different state, where no one knew him, he pretended to be like a school mate he highly admired for his academic and his social recognition, and it worked like nobody's business, it was a pivotal point in his life.

He went on to be the National super heavyweight champ in 2008, traveling all over the world acquiring the highest recognition in his sport. Currently, he is a motivational speaker, addressing high school students, college students, and corporations across this country advocating of what the human spirit can do. Metaphorically, we too, can achieve whatever we teach our inner voice to believe, and imagine all the possibilities.

Over the years I have met interesting people that are amazing. I often tell the story of one fellow who is an author of a series of self-help books that does very much like my guest, travels this country as a motivational speaker. This interesting fellow enjoys bearing gifts, which happens to be his nature, and gave me a signed autograph of his latest book, and he asked me, "hey Ben, do you know my blood type?" Curiously, I said "no." He proceeded to tell me his blood type is "B Positive," I thought it was cute. But that is the kind of fellow he is!

To recap, let us find ways to change our inner voice thus our perspective, let us find Strategic ways to practice gratitude daily, which is an intrinsic part of attitude which will help us in remaining resilient during these unsure times.

Incidentally, before I let you go, the last gift this fellow I occasionally visit gave me a flexible wristband with an engraved annotation that says "SNAP OUT OF IT."